Black Bottle Tale


She was never really a bother to anyone but she always appeared to be in the way of bad things. The time she stood on the pavement and was splashed with muddy water or the time she walked under a building and paint fell on her. Her name was Fay, Fayetta, and Fayetta had a messy room. Clothes scattered across the room, her dress, her toys. Mr. Rousseau was her doll’s name, her rosy cheek red hair doll and dark buttons for eyes. Originally the doll didn’t have buttons for eyes but she couldn’t recall what color they were.

Mr. Rousseau often helped her in her daily mysteries of life. She was Sherlock and he was Watson. And today’s mystery was a rugged one.

“Oh where, oh where, could my left shoe be”, she tapped her chin as she asked herself. She picked up her trusted companion and mimicked his words because dolls don’t talk. “W-what if it was the thief! The thief from Heathrow Lane? All shrouded in black and blue. Perhaps he took the shoe”
“Oh! I say my dear Watson, you are a genius, lets ask Tellalot Bear. That bear can’t tell a lie”
“Indeed… but Lialot Goat is always there”
“And so we’ll have to find the truth dear Watson!!”

Tellalot Bear could be trusted, but the goat couldn’t no matter how neat he dressed. Tellalot Bear was a sloppy old bear who was also a drinker which was likely why he told the truth so much.

She ran upstairs to her room and sure enough the two were at the Muddy Foot Bar, which was a teepee made from toilet paper and confetti as decorations. She walked into the tent and addressed the two. “Tellalot Bear, do you know where the Blue Bandit is?”

Now the trick with the Goat was he spoke in rhyme sometimes.
“Whether he does whether he don’t, who cares, because I certainly don’t”
“If you don’t care, then don’t answer”
The goat snickered, “why do you want to find the blue bandit? It’s all for not, but it’s just a thought, why don’t you check Giggling Cove”
“No! The Giggling cove is where Paddy the pirate lies. The truth is in heart desire!”

“The goat was lying and only the bear told the truth, but she didn’t like Heart’s Desire and the mean which of the hills watched it. She kept a locket with her that said to also be a compass that pointed to what the person truly wanted.
“It’s at the cove”
“It’s at the Heart’s Desire”
“Cove I say!”, the goat argued.
“Oh hush, you need to be skinned!”
The goat gasped, “how dare you sir!”

“Come on Watson to Heart’s Desire we go”
“O-oh no”, he shivered. “The witch of the hills”

And so she travelled to the Heart’s Desire, which was upstairs in her aunt’s room. She didn’t like her aunt and she was sure her aunt didn’t like her, she didn’t care. “We should have bought a weapon”, said Mr. Rousseau.
“Even if we did, she is strong against magic”
“It takes a dog to take down an elephant”
“That doesn’t make any sense”, she said but she was really telling herself.
As she walked her way to the third floor, she came to a very long river or hallway with blue paper on the ground. “How do we get across this river…”
“What’s slow but steady?”
She thought on it, slow but steady, “A turtle! A sea turtle at that!”, she said. Sal Turtle ran the water but he was also cheap. She went into the bathroom and spoke to Sal. Sal was also a blind turtle, fix up to be a sea turtle, she wanted a sea turtle, but her mother said they were way too big to have as a pet.

“Sal! I need your help!”
“That’ll be A Dolla fifty”
“I don’t have that kind of money!”
“No green, no do”, said Sal.
Fay sighed, and then Rousseau thought of an idea. “We’ll pay in… jewels!,”, he said. “We’ll give you the king’s umm… underwear… made from um… rubies”
“Underwear made from rubies? Deal! I could use a new of pair trousers”
And off they went down the blue paper hallway… to The Witch of The Hills also known as Aunt Clementine. Once to the other side, she peeked into the room, no sign of her, “Watson we might be in the clear”, she said in a low voice. “Good, snatch the locket and let’s go”
The locket was on the dresser plain as day, she quickly grabbed and she froze. “Fayetta! I’m home!”

“Oh no!”, shouted Fay. “Quickly under the bed!”
Her aunt’s footsteps were heavy as they came stomping up the stairs. She clenched Rousseau and held her breath as her aunt walked in the room. “Messy child… she left the paper in the hallway, the whole house is a jungle! I’ll clean it up later”

“Oh no Fay, the Witch is planning to take over  the land”
“Not on my watch she won’t”

A mouse scurried under the bed. It had no tail, she remembered this mouse as the mouse her aunt had struck with her meat cleaver, she named him Aloysius and fed him cheese before bed.

“Aloysius, how did you get here, are you trapped?”, the mouse squeaked, “There doesn’t seem to be a way out Aloysius”

The bed had squeaked and creaked, she saw her aunt’s bare feet, which only meant one thing. “Finally, I can relax”

Fay expressed disgust not only was her aunt above the average weight but she was a retired whore. She use to work in a brothel. Back then she was young, fit thing, beautiful to boot. She liked to think that her aunt was eaten by a giant woman in the house. “I have an idea but I need your help Aloysius. I need you to be a distraction”
Aloysius went to the back of the bed and disappeared. “Damn you Aloysius, I gave you cheese”, she spat.

Little did she know Aloysius went up to the dresser by her bed from the mouse hole under the bed. He crawled across the bed and bit her bottom. “AH”, she screamed and jumped off the bed. “Damn rats!”, shouted, she grabbed her shoe and started hitting everywhere on the bed. Aloysius jumped into the air and landed on her bare chest. He bit her again and she brushed him off, he scurried away and went out the door down the hall with her giving chase. The coast was clear, “I’m sorry I damned you to hell Aloysius”, she smiled. “I hope nothing bad happens to him”
“He’ll be fine. Let’s find that shoe”
“Right,” She went downstairs and to her room, there she opened the locket and let it point to her desire, the desire, to find her shoe.

She closed her eyes, spun around five times and stopped. She opened her eyes and couldn’t believe it, she  dropped the locket. “How could you… Mr. Rousseau…”, she was about to cry, not literally tho.
“I stole the shoe…”, said Rousseau. “For within the shoe lies a diamond”
“Why Rousseau… how could you do this to me!”
“I’m a raggedy doll, and not all dolls are good”

“Fay!!!”, her aunt yelled.
“I can’t play dead this time…”


Posted on August 31, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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