Obey the Comb 2
The test wasn’t something long, but he was taking a long time. Roman looked at the questions, they were pretty simple and very short.
Question: The Government is
He wish he could circle A through C, the government was a lie and it was nonsense. It was hopeless, it was the year 1957 and honestly he had developed that conspiracist mind set. Sometimes he questioned, but not to a point where it drove him insane. There was so many things happening… like nuclear bombs.
Question: What is Reality
This is Reality
That was always the answer and he thought to himself, wouldn’t it be funny if he was asleep and none of this was real? Yeah, crazy. But sometimes he often dreamed of things that probably wouldn’t exist either way.
Where are you?
Inside the comb
What was the comb? He never answered the question as he didn’t know what the comb was… he circled it with a question mark beside his answer as usual.
He looked up at his teacher who they called Teacher Modest, that wasn’t a weird name like there was Teacher Forgiven and Teacher Grieve. Nothing strange about none of that which brought him back to question number two, if this was his reality, he was crazy, but he was cool with having a robot in the house.
Are you happy
“How should I know?”, he said out loud earning a hush from Teacher Modest. He circled ‘maybe’.
If someone tries to wake you what do you do?
I am awake
Go with them
In his mind, he’d go with them because curiosity killed the cat. Maybe they would show him something extraordinary, something to change his life (which he thought was boring as all hell). But every time he put that answer, he had a weird pain in his side like he was shot by a gun or electrical rob of some sort but it was painful. Bad enough to make a man cry and so he knew better than to put that answer down. He looked at his friend Monty De Campo. He had dirty blonde hair and oddly his eyes were green, it was strange because yesterday he swore they were brown. Monty was the closest thing he called his best friend. He was just fun to have around most days other days he was kind of a dick or downer and he made fun of his hair most days. To Roman, he had a very neat Duck Ass, yes the hairstyle was legit called a Duck’s Ass. It was the only hairstyle that allowed him to keep his massive ever so annoying (but beautiful) curly black hair. Sometimes he had to thank his mother some days for these beautiful curls that he both adored and hated (it was such a pain to do his hair). Maybe he change cause the only reason he wore it was because of Elvis Presley and his no good friends Butch and Mack who got him into the whole greaser look.
Jackets are fun, except when it’s blazing hot. The only thing between him and Monty was… Monty was a goddamn nerd and greasers didn’t associate with the… uncool parade. Honestly Roman wasn’t that awesome, girls loved him because his well tone muscles and stupid scar above his eye he got from a rumble, a fight, and because his name was Romance. Which honestly meant he was romantic. No, he couldn’t even sit through White Nights…
He was done with the test, he looked at Monty in front one last time, his head was down and jacket over it as well. He got up and approached the teacher. “Teach–”
“Excuse”, said Modest with a disapproving glare. He muttered something in Italian that was offensive. “I mean, Oh Teacher Modest, I am done with my test”
“I see, always the first to finish”, she smirked. “Who knew the “bad” boy”, she put quotations over the word bad. “Would be a nerd”
“I ain’t no nerd”, he hissed. “Ain’t isn’t a word Mr. Cino”
“I am NOT a nerd and I am INSULATED that you would address me as such. So I must say that you a are a rude old HAG”, he stuck his tongue out as he leaned towards her. “Now if you really want some English, you can go back to the UK cause I’m not having your STALE, attitude. Bye!”
“Bye…”, said Ms. Modest. Roman was about to step out the door when she called him back. “Ayyy, Daddy-O, you forgot ya name on the paper. Ya Dig”, she mocked him
He didn’t even grace her with a facial expression, then to add insult to injury; she butches his accent. He threw his hands up, “I forgot my name, you put it on there for me”
“Oh? I’ll call you Melvin”
“Because… your a neeerrrdddd”
The class erupted in laughter. This was a regular thing, they went back and forth. In truth Modest was always being the smart mouth and making him speak, having him back in a corner. Roman with rather finish his test early then stay late like Monty always did because he couldn’t stand her. The criticism, the taunting, he wasn’t a failure, he aced that stupid test she gave last week. He was smart but she was evil, downplaying his intelligence. Now Mack… that there was a dummy. It was about yesterday, he said the stupidest thing he wondered what it was like to be dumb…
“How do crabs breathe if they live in water?”, he asked that day in the diner. Butch had his chin rested in his palm. He opened his mouth and quickly closed it. He just took Mack’s hand and prayed in Italian. “My boy…”, he said. “That’s the most—”
Roman quickly put his hand over Butch’s mouth, he was always the most foul of mouths and unbelievable anger. He was the pick up random objects and throw them kind of guy, as well as being a bit of a womanizer but he was poor at flirting although he swore he was good. “Butchie, my man, let me explain something to you”, Roman calmly said. “Crabs don’t live in water, in fact most are land creatures. However, they do swim”
“Ohhh, say I got question about girls”, he snapped his finger. “They bleed…”
Butch and Roman look at each other. “Like… That’s gross”
“Oh my–sweet mother of Jesus Christ, Help me!”, Butch yelled.
“Hi boys”, said a cherry voice. “Hi Lily!”, they all greeted.
“Say Lily, I have a question”
“You know that thing you girls do? Why? It’s gross”
“YOU BLOODY FUCKIN’ IDIOT”, Butch was five foot eight and strong and he was ready to struggle Mack. Butch was actually the shortest among the three and the two poke fun at Roman for being the tallest. “Butch, don’t!”, Roman was holding him back, he was red in the face, but Roman was not about to let him get in trouble again or go to jail with an assault charge.
“Yes Mack, we bleed and we only have months to live”
“Really!? You’re dying!”, he slammed his fist on the table as he got up. The two looked in awe, “Yep, females who bleeds, are… actually dying”, Lily faked tears. “Dude… your girlfriend is a menace like Dennis…”, said Butch.
As he thought about it, he said to himself he’d wait for Monty. He’d call Lily but he was sure she was busy. Lily McHale was his girlfriend, they had been dating for 8 years but it felt shorter than that. “Hey Daddy-O, what’s shakin'”, he jumped at sound of a voice. “You damn nerd”, he teased. “Monty you didn’t stay this time”, said Roman. Monty smiled as he cut his eyes to the sky. “Wanna go to the arcade?”, he asked, his words slower than usual. “I wanna play Pac Man”
“Have you noticed that everything in the simulation is inaccurate?”
“Dennis the menace didn’t come out in ’57 it came in ’59. Everything is inaccurate like ipods and computers”
“Oh, nevermind me, I’m just being a nerd”, he laughed it off but he was telling the truth. Pac man was in the 80s not the 50s.
Roman ignored it and went with him to Funspot, which was about the most accurate thing there except it wasn’t in the right spot. Funspot was in Florida, they were in New York or at least they thought they were in New York. The rest of the night, Monty played various games including the new street fighter game which included a virtual reality for the players. His character was always Blanka, a generation two character, but due to the inaccuracy of everything, characters available were Blanka, Evil Ryu, Juri, Chun-Li, Cammy, Ryu and Ken.
Monty was awful at the game, frailing his arms and never kicking his feet. The view was in first person and the player simply had to work their arms in feet. Blocking was simple but he didn’t do even that. “Monty why don’t you ever fight back?”
“Studying”, he said. “I’m learning how to fight for when the simulation breaks down, I’ll have to be ready to fight”
“I’m sorry what simulation?”
“You might wanna say goodbye to Lily. Cause you won’t be coming back”
“Stop being an asshole Monty.”
“Look”, he continued to fight with the machine as he talked to Roman. “Nothing we see here is real it’s all fake. Your girlfriend, friends, I’m not even suppose to be here but I hack the system with Modest so I could be here. Remember the whole transfer student thing, I did that”
Roman wasn’t taking in anything he was saying. “Monty shut up…”
“Why won’t you wake up”
“I am wake. Your crazy, and one of those crazy conspiracist”
“The conspiracist are trying to found how to get out of this make believe! Romance, this isn’t real!”
“Maybe your not real… since you’re not suppose to be here’ now come on let’s go home”
“I’m not going anywhere!”, he took off the helmet and looked at Roman. “Those aren’t my parents at home. I’m not crazy, I’m awake! This isn’t real. You don’t have a girlfriend named Lily and I don’t have a dog named Sparky! This. Isn’t. Real”
“Oh really”, he smirked, with hands on his sides and lip turned upwards. “Ok mr. This is fake! What really is happening?”
“It’s not 1957, it’s 3030, the nuclear bombs dropped in 3000. Around 3019 they made the simulation to deceive people, they didn’t want them knowing about the nuclear attack that they dropped on themselves”
“Why would America drop a bomb on themselves?”
“Because their stupid! They dropped a bomb and because America was in crisis, they went through a second depression! The president at that time was President Erwin McClair. America was in the worse shape possibly and they couldn’t get out of it. Two hundred thousand people died, and this is suppose to keep us in trance because nothing outside is meant for life. Do you understand! This isn’t real”
What if he was telling the truth? What if this was a simulation. No, it had to be real, everything was real right down to the point where Lily’s soft lips felt real. This wasn’t fake, he was crazy. “Prove it!”
“I would but we don’t know the code breaker”
“I’m going home, you aren’t making sense and kinda scaring me”
“It’s three word password and we don’t know it. Fail the test tomorrow. Trust me, fail the test, please… believe me”